Today, I found out that the world was ending!
I discovered that I was failing my History class. An honors class. When I had thought that I had an "A."
Like I said, the world was ending. My eyes saw red. My ears pumped out steam. My body shook with such emotion that my chest became splotchy.
I wrote down, on paper, a whole lot of "F" words, none of which were "Fail." I typed the same repeated "F" word on a computer screen, took a photo of it, put it on Instagram...the whole nine yards. I called and/or texted everyone that I knew so that I could get that whole strain of thought out of my head. No one answered. I took this very personally.
And then I went to 7Eleven for Tampax and some Yellowtail Shiraz. Telling, isn't it?
That's when I received the e-mail response from my professor informing me that, actually, I have an A in the class presently. I felt a tear well up. I felt a laugh come on, which created a rather contorted grin on my face.
I've been feeling a little bit like Diane Keaton in "Something's Gotta Give." That scene where she is pouring her heart out in writing and she finds herself sobbing uncontrollably and then simultaneously laughing her ass off, and then doing both at the same time.
Admittedly, I've always been able to relate to the hysterics of that character, based on the idea that it seemed like that was a very "me" action to be depicted in film. None-the-less I had never actually cried hysterically while writing and laughing, except for maybe a chuckle amidst a teary eye.
However, the other day I found myself exhausted, lying in bed, sobbing. And then laughing. And then sobbing and laughing. Not for very long because it occurred to me that this was such a very odd (and cleansing!) combination of emotions. I couldn't help it. My arms flailed in the air from my lying down position, in a "what in the world is going on" sort of movement.
And then I got up and continued the day as usual.
So, as it turns out, the world is not ending. I am not failing in class or in life or in any other manner in life.
Shiraz to that!