I'm a little disappointed.
Last Thursday I got together with my collaborator to work on a song of ours. I was excited and was ready to take on the big mic. I felt more comfortable than I ever have before and was ready to get on going on it by the time we recorded. After we were done, I listened to the vocal track and felt pretty pleased with what I heard. I heard some flaws and some places I could improve on but for the most part I felt good about it. Like this one had more emotion and like it was better than the last.
Or so I thought.
The last time we did this, we had a piano only as the instrumental backing and my voice. We recorded the vocal and when I played it back I didn't like it. When I received it in digital form, I listened and I was pleased. I was proud of the song.
This time I received the track planning to be happy with it and I am almost embarassed by my vocal quality in it. I'm bummed out. I can't put my finger on it, really, either. Maybe it's just what I create in my head sounds either so much better or so much worse by memory so when I hear it, I'm either pleased or displeased.
Either way I'm kind of bummin'.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Reminder.
Note to self:
Don't second guess yourself. If something feels wrong, it's likely to be wrong.
Don't give too many chances. You'll just get hurt.
Accept situations as they are and especially when you can do nothing to fix them.
When you can't figure it out, it's likely to be compulsion. Leave it alone. Don't dig. You'll only find it harder to climb out.
Don't take it personally.
Sleep when you're tired.
Drink more water.
Buy chapstick.
Don't second guess yourself. If something feels wrong, it's likely to be wrong.
Don't give too many chances. You'll just get hurt.
Accept situations as they are and especially when you can do nothing to fix them.
When you can't figure it out, it's likely to be compulsion. Leave it alone. Don't dig. You'll only find it harder to climb out.
Don't take it personally.
Sleep when you're tired.
Drink more water.
Buy chapstick.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
The Many Adventures of Marisa!
Last night was amazing!
I went on a hike in the mountains and attempted to cross a bridge only to fall into the water and body-raft all the way down a Victoria Falls-sized waterfall.
When I reached the bottom, I then had to climb up and through a meuseum-like giant redwood tree which was located in a dried up canyon with venomous beasts. I swung on a vine with giant spiders which I was terrified of, into the side yard of a haunted mansion on a corner lot in the South that I've been in a zillion times, and terrifies me. Only, this time I realized that the ghost in the high attic is gone and I have nothing to fear.
I opened the door to leave the house, excited I no longer needed to be scared and realized that I was in Europe in some strange town that mixed the cultures and architecture of London, Prague, India and Greece into one. I was without my camera, though, so I didn't get any pictures. It sucked. On the flight over I was really upset and my energy field almost crashed the plane (which had no windows and dentist-like chairs). I was also taking my first flying lesson, so we had an interesting take off with me trying to be both seated coach class passenger and pilot. Turbulent! It didn't go so well, so we landed on CA I-405 and were towed to a military air base where a flight specialist took over and flew us to our destination.
Anyway, back to....Eur...NO! Actually when I realized I didn't have my camera we started to head back to the mansion but got lost and somehow ended up in the North Pole, where I hiked all around a gigantic iceberg down into a sunken underwater pirate ship restaraunt where there was family style dining. We checked into our hotel room, and I got dressed all snazzy to go and have dinner with Minnie Driver to see if my "brother" thought we would make a good couple, or if I should stay with my ex, Alec Baldwin. Minnie ended up being the better match. Especially since we had a child together who was in a Minnie Mouse dress and yellow booties.
We went outside for a walk and were trapped on an island on some other planet where there was a very rocky beach. My foot got stuck in an old Reebok high-top that had an electric eel which was thankfully dead residing in it. I about had a heart attack. I sat on the shore to remove my foot from the high-top when I realized that there was a rather deep drop off and that I was staring at this planet's equivalent to an Orca whale. She told me my friends were kayaking in a male voice, so I departed and ended up with a disease that had me bed-ridden at a Christian camp.
I'd had enough of that and the old Indian chanting, so I stole the Rolls Royce that was hidden in the Winnie the Pooh ride at Disneyland, in the section with the Heffalumps, and drove out of there and never looked back.
Thank God I drove myself back to my bed where I could wake up to laugh at all those funny little dreams! It was rather entertaining being asleep last night. Boy, do I tell you!
...and this is how my unconscious mind apparently works!
I went on a hike in the mountains and attempted to cross a bridge only to fall into the water and body-raft all the way down a Victoria Falls-sized waterfall.
When I reached the bottom, I then had to climb up and through a meuseum-like giant redwood tree which was located in a dried up canyon with venomous beasts. I swung on a vine with giant spiders which I was terrified of, into the side yard of a haunted mansion on a corner lot in the South that I've been in a zillion times, and terrifies me. Only, this time I realized that the ghost in the high attic is gone and I have nothing to fear.
I opened the door to leave the house, excited I no longer needed to be scared and realized that I was in Europe in some strange town that mixed the cultures and architecture of London, Prague, India and Greece into one. I was without my camera, though, so I didn't get any pictures. It sucked. On the flight over I was really upset and my energy field almost crashed the plane (which had no windows and dentist-like chairs). I was also taking my first flying lesson, so we had an interesting take off with me trying to be both seated coach class passenger and pilot. Turbulent! It didn't go so well, so we landed on CA I-405 and were towed to a military air base where a flight specialist took over and flew us to our destination.
Anyway, back to....Eur...NO! Actually when I realized I didn't have my camera we started to head back to the mansion but got lost and somehow ended up in the North Pole, where I hiked all around a gigantic iceberg down into a sunken underwater pirate ship restaraunt where there was family style dining. We checked into our hotel room, and I got dressed all snazzy to go and have dinner with Minnie Driver to see if my "brother" thought we would make a good couple, or if I should stay with my ex, Alec Baldwin. Minnie ended up being the better match. Especially since we had a child together who was in a Minnie Mouse dress and yellow booties.
We went outside for a walk and were trapped on an island on some other planet where there was a very rocky beach. My foot got stuck in an old Reebok high-top that had an electric eel which was thankfully dead residing in it. I about had a heart attack. I sat on the shore to remove my foot from the high-top when I realized that there was a rather deep drop off and that I was staring at this planet's equivalent to an Orca whale. She told me my friends were kayaking in a male voice, so I departed and ended up with a disease that had me bed-ridden at a Christian camp.
I'd had enough of that and the old Indian chanting, so I stole the Rolls Royce that was hidden in the Winnie the Pooh ride at Disneyland, in the section with the Heffalumps, and drove out of there and never looked back.
Thank God I drove myself back to my bed where I could wake up to laugh at all those funny little dreams! It was rather entertaining being asleep last night. Boy, do I tell you!
...and this is how my unconscious mind apparently works!
Sunday, September 21, 2008
FALLing.
It's beginning to feel like Fall!
The air smells crisp. The weather is cooling down and the light seems to be warming up.
I always jump-start into action when the Fall arrives and feel like I can take everything on. From work out routines and diets to making more money and just being happier, the late Summer/ all of Fall seems to bring it.
Bring on the cute sweaters and fitness!
Yay!
The air smells crisp. The weather is cooling down and the light seems to be warming up.
I always jump-start into action when the Fall arrives and feel like I can take everything on. From work out routines and diets to making more money and just being happier, the late Summer/ all of Fall seems to bring it.
Bring on the cute sweaters and fitness!
Yay!
If I Were Homeless
I’ve thought of this often.
If I were homeless I would stay in Southern California or, depending on where I was starting off homeless, I would make my way there. It can be rainy but often is not so this makes it a pleasant place to be. No snow, not much rain, mostly sunny or over cast.
If I were homeless I would build myself a relatively leak-free roof for my box house, which could be folded up and carried easily. It would consist of cardboard box, duct tape and gathered aluminum cans which I’d cut and make a somewhat single-like roof.
I would likely find a new freeway on or off-ramp to reside under at night time.
If I were homeless I’d start myself in Long Beach, California so that I could scour the alley ways for things like old lawn chair padding or an old air mattress with a whole or two that I could patch up. A large backpack and old clothes to stuff in it; a single sleeping bag would be a “find” and would do for years to come. I would search for a stroller because those would be the easiest to find in an alley way in long beach…or as one of the smartest homeless men I’ve seen had with him…I’d find myself a bike and one of those toddler houses that trail behind one and I’d load my bedding in there while carrying my clothes on my back.
I would find me a big stray dog to wake me when someone unfamiliar or unwelcomed was near.
From time to time I’d save 5 dollars and I’d do my laundry, but only when I was unbearably stinky and needed to do something about it for my own sanity. I’d also take a trip to a new place from time to time in the summer.
I would drink frequently from park and beach water fountains, and I’d swing in parks (at night so as not to frighten the kids or their parents) to amuse myself……..I’d try to think of ways to make life better.
But then I suppose that the one thing that separates me from the homeless guy is that I think about this frequently. I don’t suppose that many people (except for the rare exception who actually choose to be homeless as a lifestyle) thought that the would be without a home. I guess they sort of lose control. Of their finances, of their mind, or imagination, or their desire to live.
But I do think about it a lot.
I see a homeless person I imagine what I’d do if I were them. And actually, I wonder if they’d ever done the same.
Have you?
If I were homeless I would stay in Southern California or, depending on where I was starting off homeless, I would make my way there. It can be rainy but often is not so this makes it a pleasant place to be. No snow, not much rain, mostly sunny or over cast.
If I were homeless I would build myself a relatively leak-free roof for my box house, which could be folded up and carried easily. It would consist of cardboard box, duct tape and gathered aluminum cans which I’d cut and make a somewhat single-like roof.
I would likely find a new freeway on or off-ramp to reside under at night time.
If I were homeless I’d start myself in Long Beach, California so that I could scour the alley ways for things like old lawn chair padding or an old air mattress with a whole or two that I could patch up. A large backpack and old clothes to stuff in it; a single sleeping bag would be a “find” and would do for years to come. I would search for a stroller because those would be the easiest to find in an alley way in long beach…or as one of the smartest homeless men I’ve seen had with him…I’d find myself a bike and one of those toddler houses that trail behind one and I’d load my bedding in there while carrying my clothes on my back.
I would find me a big stray dog to wake me when someone unfamiliar or unwelcomed was near.
From time to time I’d save 5 dollars and I’d do my laundry, but only when I was unbearably stinky and needed to do something about it for my own sanity. I’d also take a trip to a new place from time to time in the summer.
I would drink frequently from park and beach water fountains, and I’d swing in parks (at night so as not to frighten the kids or their parents) to amuse myself……..I’d try to think of ways to make life better.
But then I suppose that the one thing that separates me from the homeless guy is that I think about this frequently. I don’t suppose that many people (except for the rare exception who actually choose to be homeless as a lifestyle) thought that the would be without a home. I guess they sort of lose control. Of their finances, of their mind, or imagination, or their desire to live.
But I do think about it a lot.
I see a homeless person I imagine what I’d do if I were them. And actually, I wonder if they’d ever done the same.
Have you?
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
List to Photograph.
London parks; London buildings; London transportation; London people; Castles in England; Castles in Ireland and Scotland; Landscapes in England, Ireland and Scotland; Cathedrals in England, Ireland and Scotland; Landmarks in England. Paris! Everything there, from the cracks in the sidewalks and streets to people, boats, rivers, landmarks and buildings; Bordeaux, Toulouse, Lyon, Orleans, Marseille, Nice, Monaco. Italy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITALY. I'll say it again. ITALY. Venice, Rome, Sicily, Pisa, Tuscany, Naples, Capri, Pompeii, Amalfi Coast. Greece & Turkey. Every single ruin there. China. The Great Wall and some petrified wook under a lake that I've heard of. Japan, Korea. Costa Rica beaches and jungle and all sorts of fun and scary creatures there. A zillion caribbean and tropical islands. Montreal. Alaska. Africa on a safari all over. Victoria Falls. Washington DC. Mexico. German concentration camps. Egypt and all the pyramids and ruins and some really neat little villages. San Francisco, Los Angeles, Manhattan, Brooklyn, Maine. Funky doors around the world. Antarctica.
...and the rest of my life.
So much the photograph.
...and the rest of my life.
So much the photograph.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Edison, This Stinky Cheese Exceeds 95 Decibels!
Last night brought a night at the old Edison building in Los Angeles. I love the Edison when it comes to ambiance. The music is just so interesting, and the old Hollywood films on a few different screens bring you back in time. Very old world. Classy.
I would say two things negative about last night's experience. No, three. For one, my fiance was not there. Two, the seating is.... wow. LOL. Stools. No backs. I need to work on my posture if I am going to be wearing short dresses, looking good and sitting on a stool. LOL. I felt like a hill-billy. Slouch, slouch, slouch. And three.....
THE STINKY CHEESE! Oh wow! One of them smelled like something that sits in your drain for weeks when no one does the dishes. It smelled like that but I thought to myself, "self! This must taste better than it smells because no one would purchase cheese that tasted like this smells!" So into that little tiny morsel, I bit. And I regret it. Yep. Tasted just like it smelled. The other kinds that I tried were fine. Just not the stinky sink cheese. Bleck!
After a few hours and cake at the Edison for Ana Luisa's going-away party, we headed to go dancing. Just a few blocks away from the Edison. And when we went.... I saw a sign on the door. I figured that with all of the other signs posted on the door, it must be just for decoration. It said "The sound level in this venue exceeds 95 decibels." I walked in, the music was loud and then it felt louder and louder and louder and louder and louder, until we walked out and my ears were ringing so loud!!!!!! They still are ringing. I'm hoping it's not permanent dammage.
Also, I think that in the walk to the place we must have gone through some sort of vortex and had some time travel. Because when we walked up to the club there were so many people dressed like the 80s and as soon as we walked into the club, it was 80s music remixed and people were even DANCING 80s style. My mom actually looked cool when she danced. I had no clue how to dance like that. OMG it was just soooo strange.
I would say two things negative about last night's experience. No, three. For one, my fiance was not there. Two, the seating is.... wow. LOL. Stools. No backs. I need to work on my posture if I am going to be wearing short dresses, looking good and sitting on a stool. LOL. I felt like a hill-billy. Slouch, slouch, slouch. And three.....
THE STINKY CHEESE! Oh wow! One of them smelled like something that sits in your drain for weeks when no one does the dishes. It smelled like that but I thought to myself, "self! This must taste better than it smells because no one would purchase cheese that tasted like this smells!" So into that little tiny morsel, I bit. And I regret it. Yep. Tasted just like it smelled. The other kinds that I tried were fine. Just not the stinky sink cheese. Bleck!
After a few hours and cake at the Edison for Ana Luisa's going-away party, we headed to go dancing. Just a few blocks away from the Edison. And when we went.... I saw a sign on the door. I figured that with all of the other signs posted on the door, it must be just for decoration. It said "The sound level in this venue exceeds 95 decibels." I walked in, the music was loud and then it felt louder and louder and louder and louder and louder, until we walked out and my ears were ringing so loud!!!!!! They still are ringing. I'm hoping it's not permanent dammage.
Also, I think that in the walk to the place we must have gone through some sort of vortex and had some time travel. Because when we walked up to the club there were so many people dressed like the 80s and as soon as we walked into the club, it was 80s music remixed and people were even DANCING 80s style. My mom actually looked cool when she danced. I had no clue how to dance like that. OMG it was just soooo strange.
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