Thursday, March 31, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
To start wearing more skirts and dresses.
To travel somewhere new this year.
To make a point to get to Cambodia sooner than later.
To join a gym this month.
To fully embrace my inner Princess & wear my clear Steve Madden jellies often
…especially to Disneyland.
To embrace that I simply will ALWAYS be young at heart.
To not even try to “act my age”.
That I am perfectly okay not being a Carrie Bradshaw.
That I really am a Charlotte.
To always ask the questions that I am afraid to ask.
That no matter how much I love anything else, I will always love the idea of
...one day being a mother, even more.
That it is a great thing to have never slept around.
Oh! And that I’m getting an iPhone today!
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Not obediently, mind you.
No, actually she stands!
She's standing there,
And I know what she
Silently asks for, shaking
Shivering, slow-moving tears
Slipping from her eyes.
Friday, March 18, 2011
No Offense, but
You look really tired today. Or sick or something. Yeah, you know, you’ve got these dark circles under your eyes. I mean, they’re kind of there all the time but today they’re especially dark and you just look like you could really use some rest or something, you poor thing. Here, I’ll get you some coffee.
No Offense, but
You might want to wear a bra with those kinds of shirts. I mean, it makes all the other girls a little uncomfortable because sometimes your nipples poke out or you can see how dark and big your areolas are because the shirt you’re wearing is so thin and white. I mean, we all are totally envious. We all wish that we could have perky little breasts like yours. We’re all like ‘I’m so jealous of that little bitch, she’s so cute and stuff’. I wish all the guys looked at my breasts like that at work, you know? It’s okay, though, I mean it’s really not a big deal. No, no, don’t be embarrassed…………do you want to wear my sweatshirt?
No Offense, but
Have you gained some weight? I could have sworn that you wore those very jeans last month and they were a smidgen baggy. I could tell from how they hung on your butt a little bit (not that I was looking, though, because you hardly have one at all). But now they’re, like, tight. I mean TIGHT. Like, they’re crawling up your butt crack and I think you have a little camel toe going on. You still look good though! I mean, you’re beautiful no matter what weight you’re at, I could just tell is all. Cause normally you’ve got that anorexic your-head-is-too-big-for-your-body thing going on. Maybe it’s kinda’ good you have a muffin top!
No Offense, but
I do’nt really get what your saying here in this S.A. Its a little jumpy here and I don’t like this word as much as I like those other ones. I mean why do you need to use such big words. I don’t no, maybe it’s just me but it makes people feel stupid. But then over here you using too simple of egg samples and it’s about the writing level of a fifth grader. And you’re opinions come acrosst much to strongly. Mine are better. Yours make you seem superficial and like you’re a racist. Just try to tone it down a little bit, maybe. Put a little espanish in here. Or ybonics. I think that could make this a lot stronger.
No Offense, but
I think it’s pointless to say ‘no offense’ before such a rude statement filled with such vague and broad generalities. Nobody likes how that makes them feel and everybody hates when it is done. I’m not tired and I’m not sick, in fact I am over-rested and I thought my makeup looked excellent and I felt radiant. But thanks for the concern. And I am wearing a bra. It’s flesh toned, has an underwire and is a push up with padding. But I’m glad to know you think my breasts are saggy despite the $5000 I paid for my breast lift about 6 months ago. But I guess my breasts match my pants….or at least they used to. It’s not called a muffin top, it’s called expecting. I haven’t told anybody yet but I guess the secret’s out now! I hope you’ll throw me my baby shower and let me know how obese I look when I’m two weeks over due. That would be just swell. And I appreciate the critique. I think you totally got what I was saying in my college level research paper on how speaking one language at home and then taking English classes in school can cause a huge disability in how people give and receive communication cross-culturally. I definitely see how adding (e)Spanish or Ebonics could totally prove my point. I think I’ll keep it the same, though. No offense.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
A feline tries on a gray mouse’s skin
And is trapped beneath a way-too-tight stretch
Like a boxer fights, true cats won’t give in
But the mouse’s skin makes her heave and wretch
So the cat disrobes from the gray mouse fur
Slips into mouse whiskers, two ears, a nose
Sees Tomcat and thinks he’s there to chase her
But a tuna fish can has his male mind closed
So Tigress takes off each little disguise
And Tomcat becomes her pretty gazelle
He’s fearful and runs from his sure demise
And in the ending it’s Tigress who’ll fail
See, life is a game of the cat and the mouse
Especially when species want to play house.
This kid, he needs:
To wash his balls. They smell like old chlorine. He turns his chair and wind blows wafting, slowly in my sad direction. It enters my mind and makes me quiver, from my hairs to the nails on my toes. He swings back around and the stench is gone. I can hardly take anything more.
This guy, he needs:
To brush his teeth. They smell of bitter coffee. It’s sat on his tongue all day long, waiting for Listerine. It filters through his dry flesh of lips and whispers to the hairs of my nose. Like a foreign gas it enters the chamber where the scent makes its humble abode. It makes me cough, it makes me gag. I’d move if it wasn’t too rude.
This thug, he needs:
To shut his mouth. It just keeps yapping on. About violence this, about violence that. I’m sure he isn’t jesting. He’s got those looks, a little threatening, y’know those evil eyes. They look at you on your insides, finding the wires for breaking. I’d say ‘shut it’ if I wasn’t too scared.