10 Days of Yoga: I've Learned To Breathe

A few weeks ago, I found myself heartbroken. I subsequently found--no, rediscovered by a friend's reminder--a donation-based yoga class held in a park walking distance from my home. I found I was out of my mind, realizing that I'd done just what I did at the age of 20 and had changed myself to make some guy right for me. I found I needed to breathe. I found, quite honestly, that I needed to be found!

And isn't that what yoga is about?

I started attending these park sessions. It was in some hip-opening stretch that I found myself listening to the instructor state something that I'd never once considered: that it was okay to be uncomfortable. I cried just a little in silence, my chest heaving as I exhaled as instructed. Then, with the next breath inward, that sadness, to whatever degree, was gone and those words were forever in my body.

I. was. addicted!

Day 10 in-a-row of yoga, and I've rediscovered a more colorful side of myself and realized how actually balanced the true me is. It is only when I try to align myself with who I think another wants me to be that I lose that vibrant nature.

I've noticed a shift in my body's balance, where I used to walk on my heels, I now find myself walking more towards the center of my feet, closer to the ball.

I've noticed my shoulders rolled a little further back and my heart "exposed." It's a vulnerable feeling but one that I somehow know is worth it.

And today, finally, as is one of the ultimate goals in yoga, I have rediscovered my lungs! How easy it is to have that feeling of release of breath! I used to treasure that feeling so much as a child. I'd look forward to those deep breaths in, where I'd breathe out and it would feels as if the whole world had changed.

Like a tingle of hope had crawled in through my nose, ventured down my throat, into my heart, down through the rest of my body, and gathered up any darkness that was residing in me to be released with that next exhale.

Like when a toddler has finished sobbing out their angst and has taken in air through their mouth , several breaths within one, and then has breathed it all out in one huff of air, releasing all the tension.

I've rediscovered that ability to self-release, which is a truly priceless feeling that I am presently treasuring.